Ken and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year,

And every year. Ken would say,

'Edna, I'd like to ride in that helicopter'

Edna always replied,

'I know Ken, only a helicopter ride is fifty bucks,  And fifty bucks is
fifty bucks'

One year Ken and Edna went to the fair,
and Ken said,

'Edna, I'm 75 years old.  If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never
get another chance'

To this, Edna replied,

"Ken helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks'

The pilot overheard the couple and said,

'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If
you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't
charge you a penny!  But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.'

Ken and Edna agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy manoeuvres, yet not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again,

And, still not a word...

When they landed, the pilot turned to Ken and said,

'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you
didn't. I am very impressed!'

Ken replied,

'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Edna fell
out, But you know,

"Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!'

Labels: funny_stories, Husband, Old_Men, wife

3/18/2010 02:08:00 PM 0 comments

An elderly man owned a large farm with a large pond in the back, fixed
up nicely with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, plus some apple and
peach trees. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the fruit
trees by the pond. 

He took a bucket with him to bring back some fruit. As he neared the
pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.   As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping
in  the pond.  He made the women aware of his presence so they all
went to the deep end.  One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" 

The old man said,  "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim  naked or make you get out of the pond naked." 

Holding the bucket up he  said, "I'm just down here to feed the
alligator." 


Moral: -- Some old men can still think fast.

Labels: funny_stories, Old_Men, Wise

3/08/2010 10:22:00 AM 0 comments

An elderly Gentleman, goes on a hunting safari in Africa, taking his
faithful, old dog he had named Genius (because he was the smartest dog
Neil had ever know) along for the company.     One day, Genius starts chasing rabbits and before long, he discovers
he's lost his way. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly
in his direction with the intention of having lunch.   So Genius thinks, "Oh, ho! I'm in deep doo-doo now!"  Then noticing some
bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the
bones with his back to the approaching predator. 

Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old dog exclaims loudly, 

"Boy, was that one delicious leopard! I wonder, if there are any more
around here?"  Hearing this, the young leopard halts his approach, a look of terror
comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 

"Whew! what a close one! That old dog nearly had me!"  A monkey who had been watching the whole thing from a nearby tree,
figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for some
future protection from the leopard.  So, off he goes after the leopard.

Only Genius sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and
being a very smart experienced old dog, he figures something bad must be
up.   The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and
strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.  The young leopard is
furious at being made a fool of and says, 

"Here, monkey, hop up on my back and watch what's happens to conniving
canine!   Now, Genius sees the leopard coming toward him with the monkey on his
back and thinks, 

"What am I going to do now?", 

Thinking fast, Genius, instead of his running, he sits down with his
back to the leopard and his snitch, pretending he hasn't seen them yet.
Then just when they get close enough to hear, the old dog acting Like he
is talking to himself says,  "I wonder where's the monkey is?  It is been long enough since I sent
him off to bring me another leopard !


Moral of this story...  Don't mess with the old dogs...   Age and Skill will always overcome Youth and Energy!  

Labels: animals, funny_stories

3/08/2010 10:16:00 AM 0 comments